


Fuck YOU (with a cucumber)

by Bang Bang Beef Keef (kelamorrison)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Crack Fic, Keith and Lance use a cucumber as a dildo but it breaks and get stuck in Lances ass, M/M, cucumber dildo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-24 08:37:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18567781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kelamorrison/pseuds/Bang%20Bang%20Beef%20Keef
Summary: This is a spite fic. I wrote it to spite Hunk. They know who they are. You probably shouldn't read it.





	Fuck YOU (with a cucumber)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RADifer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RADifer/gifts).



> I warned you.

Keith and Lance were making a salad. 

"You know what I wanna do with this cucumber, babe," said Keith. 

"What, babe?" responded Lance. 

"I want to fuck you with this cucumber."

And that is how Lance ended up with a cucumber up his ass. It was big and he liked it.

"Oh baby, you like that?' cooed Keith, fucking his boyfriend in the ass with a cucumber.

Lance liked it so much he invited his boyfriend to fuck the cucumber with him, back to back, on their knees, in their asses like a double dildo.

Shiro walked in then walked right out again.

He didn't want none of that and that is NOT how you make a salad.

"Let's change positions," moaned Keith.

"Okay," agreed Lance and then he stupidly stood up without removing the giant cucumber from his ass, forgetting it was also in Keith's ass. And then CRUNCH it broke.

It broke and they each had half in their ass and that was not good. Now they both had cucumber butt plugs.

"Fuck! I have half a fucking cucumber in my ass!" screamed Keith.

"Let me help," said Lance, squatting down, which was dumb because it lodged his further up his ass.

Too far and though it felt good, there was not enough sticking out to get a grip on it.

"Keith... babe... love of my life... I need to go to the space hospital."

"I'll go get Shiro," said Keith, turning pale.

Shiro knew he should've stopped them, especially after he saw them go ass to ass with a cucumber like it was a double dildo and that is why space dad is so fucking tired all the fucking time.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> I fucking warned you.
> 
> UPDATE: Why are you leaving Kudos?! Don’t validate my spite!!
> 
> ‘NOTHER UPDATE: People who bookmarked this, who hurt you?
> 
> UPDATE TO END ALL UPDATES: To the two people who subscribed to this, are you okay? Do you need me to call someone?


End file.
